So the really fabulous thing about this is that while thereās two basic theories about how the seals get an eel up their nose, there are also problems with both of them. The first is that the seal is shoving its head in holes in the rocks and the eel panics and goes for what looks like a holeāie a seal nostril. And that would be a great theory, except that seals have what are described as āextremely muscular nostrilsā because they gotta slam them closed when diving to keep water out.
Which, okay, fine, except that thereās often like two, three feet of eel INSIDE THE SEAL. The stuff hanging out is just the end of the tail. And eels are astonishingly powerful for their size, true, but so are seal nostrils. (Why am I typing these words? How did my life come to this?)
The other theory, of course, is that they barfed up an eel and it came out their nose instead, but weāre talking a fairly impressive feat that the eel lined up just right to come out the nostrils, and also those are BIG eels. Itād be kinda like a human puking a spear of asparagus out of their nose. (Why am I typing THESE words, too? Why?)
The remaining theory, which is actually the one ascribed to by the lead scientist on the endangered monk seal project, is that dumb teenage seals are snorting eels at each other for fun. And yāknowā¦I justā¦sure. We live in a world where that wouldnāt even be the tenth strangest thing Iāve heard about mammals.
In conclusion, if any young monk seals are following me, Just Say No To Eel.
